Every group has their own expectations about ‘the right way’ to play, over time the group dynamics and way games are played solidify into strong beliefs and values. I’ve been reading rpg.net and there are often forum posts about bad players/bad games/bad campaigns and bad roleplaying. In most of these cases the bad situation is due to a conflict in these unspoken, unconscious beliefs and expectations.
These clashes in belief only really happen when someone joins a new group. That’s why of lot of those threads can be summarised with one sentence “A new player joined our group (or I joined a new group) and they’re doin’ it wrong”. If a player used to heavily plotted and scripted games joins a group where the world is a sandbox, they can end up feeling lost and intimidated. If the opposite happens the player can feel like they’re playing someone else’s character.
People often pay lip service to the idea that there is no right or wrong way to play roleplaying games. Then get into huge arguments about how they play. If the true goal is to have fun then you need to look at these unconscious beliefs, drag them into the light, then look for groups that share them.